Gina & Jessica

The first photos are starting to come in, after re-connecting with some long lost stepfamily a few weeks ago.

It’s been a pretty emotional and exhilarating journey thus far- to have this part of my past unexpectedly open up. After my Texas Odyssey, I was riding high on past friendships and love that had splendidly and beautifully withstood time, space, and neglect- so this is like the icing on the cake. Or the crust on the pie, in my case, as I am not too much a fan of cake.

This cousin, Gina, has offered all of my Mammaw’s photo albums to me. This is a teaser.

I often think of fire.

I have had a lifelong obsession with fire. Not in the way the you might imagine- I am not a pyromaniac.
Rather, I am often overcome by the feeling that I might burst into flames. Driving down the road, I will suddenly imagine my car being spontaneoulsy consumed by fire; when I am running really hot, I sometimes fear that I will literally burn up. I do run really hot- I overheat very easily, turn bright red with heart racing and skin swelling. I often feel my blood is actually boiling. I can avoid this to some extent by staying out of the heat and sun, by keeping calm..

*****
This is draft, from ages ago, that I never knew how to finish, or rather, I couldn't complete the thought. But, I think I might have just figured it out- this heat thing and me. I've had an epic few weeks, starting with a trip home to Texas, surprisingly, and throughout these weeks I have been randomly overcome by these feelings. Tonight, after a very intense and heartfelt correspondence with some long lost family (which is only one portion of the overall epicness)- and finally sitting down to share the important emotional bits of this epic journey with Dana- I recognize what is burning up inside me, and it is love. It is love, and enthusiasm, and joy.